I just woke up, 6 a.m. on the nose. How do I feel? Hollow, empty, defeated, helpless, worthless. I can't think. I feel like a vacuum where a person once was. I'm the leftover shell of a human being. Devoid of any real expression of emotion.
Dear family and friends,
I apologize for parting with you the way I did. I know you will grieve for me one last time, but you must know that I was in pain and saw fit to seek relief. I shot myself in the heart because I thought it fitting to die of a broken heart.
Please do not be angry with me. My whole life has been a series of tragedies the sum of which was an obstacle of monstrous proportions. I fought as hard as I could but, ultimately, have been dealt the final and crushing blow. Even with all your help it is too late for me. Allow me the mercy of a quick and painless death instead of a long , drawn out, painful torture. Please don't be angry with me.
I loved you all more than I can express. More than I did express. My love for you was as unique as the individual who inspired it. I know your hearts ached for me many times and I am sorry for that. The things I've done to the people I love are heartbreaking to recall.
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