this is my final fit. my fianal belly ache. by the end of the day I will be dead, by my own will. everyone keeps telling me to try harder. get better by trying harder. if I could get better by trying harder i would have done it. that is why i never saught help before. because I thought it was a matter of trying harder. this is no ones fault. it's just the way it goes. i'm sorry for the pain i will cause. I know it seems selfish. I'm sorry for the pain i've brought on all of you. but i'll bother you no more.
I'll never be happy. I'll never get it together. I'll always be that invariable fuck up. it's time for me to wise up.
Friday, January 15, 2010
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