Douche: I can't take the meth induced over-caffinated drizzle right now.
Me: Hold on. It's a bumpy ride, but....I'm lying. You go right ahead and put yourself out of your misery.
Douche: I would rather soak in a bathtub filled with chum, then hurl myself into a pool filled with genetically altered sharks who have high tech lasers attached to their dorsal fins than sit through this right now.
Me: Spot on! I would rather wear Salomi underwear while swimming through a Parana filled lake. Oh, and while being beaten by a fat man on a skidoo. Ya, I'd rather do that than sit another minute of this verbose wind bag
Douche: I would rather cover myself with "Match Light" and then be brutally raped by a gorilla with a lit road flare.
Me: I'd rather make sweet sweet love to the new girl in pink. She's my Mona Lisa (my favorite work of art), my ballerina (doing Pierette's in the dark). I want to have her babies.
Douche: She seems nice. I hope your able to penetrate the walls of her vagina.
Me: Science be with you. I also hope that I can copulate with her.
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